First, the bad news. After I thought things couldn't any worse, they did. My car was broken into and my two teacher bags were taken along with one of my nice shoes and of course, my stereo. It won't get fixed for awhile because of the hurricane.

It didn't really phase me when I saw my window busted out. "Well, that's about right," I thought.

The good news is that we have electricity and I am alive. Things are going to be okay.

Life is very tough for me right now. I am a little tired of people telling me that what doesn't kill me will make me stronger. I thought I was at my lowest point on Monday. I was sitting at "Miami Subs" alone waiting to eat my dinner. I was dealing with the pain of a breakup in addition to all that was happening at school. My sub tasted like barf. Then, a man came up to me and handed me a card. I thanked him, but he didn't move on. I realized he was homeless and expected me to pay him fifty cents for the crappy postcard of Miami. I told him "no." He then told me, "I hope you choke on that sandwich and die." That was Monday.

The Almighty gave me a break for a few days, but then He punished myself and the rest of southern Florida with hurricane Katrina on Wednesday night. It was actually nice because I didn't have to go to school on Thursday or Friday. But, there is an actual power line down in our backyard, so we will probably not have electricity for a week. I need to do laundry, buy new groceries, and figure out some way to teach this week. I rely so much on my home office because there are few resources at school. With all that is going on, the week ahead appears like a mountain. I am tired just thinking about it.

I think I should end on a more positive note. I have much to be thankful for. I was not one of seven people killed by the hurricane, and the storm was not as powerful here as it is going to be in other parts of the United States. I am also thankful for my friends and family, who have been there for me this last week. I love and appreciate you all.

No training could have prepared me for teaching to my Seniors today. They were devastated. Apparently, the boy who was shot on Friday night was at least a decent student.(http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/local/12442499.htm). From what I gather from students and the newspaper, he was funny, driven, and hard-working. These kids grow up together, so they all knew him. Second period went alright, but no one really wanted to share, so we took a moment of silence and went on with the lesson.

Fourth period was traumatic. When I asked how many people knew him, most of the class raised their hand. I had three girls enter the classroom in tears. One of my boys began crying pretty soon into the period. Again, no one wanted to share. As a student explained to me during lunch, "They just saw him alive the other day, and now he's dead. They're dealing with that." So, I had them free write how they were feeling for the first half of class. I think it was good for some, but some just put their heads down or stared off into space. Plenty continued crying. Two girls in the back seemed unaware of the tragedy and were giggling. I wrote them a post-it note telling them to knock it off. I think they caught my drift. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to relate to their pain. When no one wanted to share what they had written, I was not sure what I was going to do. Before the lunch bell rang, I said I would be teaching when they came back. I went ahead with the lesson even though probably only half of the class got anything out of it.

I did a moment of silence in 7'th period, and then taught a great lesson on the first 3 articles of the Constitution. This was big, because seventh period was the group that refused to count off in fives or get out of their seats for group work 2 weeks ago.

Eighth period sucked as usual, but my kids aren't really wearing on me any more. They're pretty much crazy and I'm pretty much okay with that. I tried to do a moment of silence and I couldn't get them to be quiet.

Grading sucks. It really really really sucks. Enough said.

I went to see my school play a local rival in football last night at Miami-Dade community college. The game started at 7:30, but my friend and I did not arrive until about 7:50. People were everywhere. It was madness. 10,000 people for a high school football game! Each cheering section had a side of the field. There was no room to sit on our side of the field. I saw some of my students, but the majority of the crowd was family and community members. It was a sea of blue and gold. They were selling conche, big greasy hamburgers, and some sort of mango fruit blend. The anouncer was a character. I can't do justice to him on this blog, but if you call me I'll give an impression.

The quality of play was unbelievable. Both quarterbacks had incredibly strong arms and their accuracy was pretty awesome too. And the hits! Oh my god! And of course, everyone was fast. The energy in the air was palpable. The half time show was college-level. They had a marching band, flaggettes, and majorettes. The marching band played a few old favorites (i.e., Marvin Gaye) and then got into renditions of Snoop Dogg and Beyonce jams. If the band members weren't playing, they were aiming taunting dances at the other stands.

It was interesting being one of the only white people. Everyone knew I was a teacher, because why else would a white guy show up to an innercity high school football game? Everyone I met was very warm and nice, but it's impossible not to think about white privilege when you are in a situation like that. I mean, I felt comfortable going to the game. But would a black person feel comfortable if they were the only one with dark skin in a sea of 10,000 tennis fans? I feel comfortable going back and forth between their turf and mine, but I'm not sure if they feel the same. The truth may be that because of my white skin, it is ALL my turf. It's not about racism. It's about privilege.

So, back to the game. We were not doing as well as we should have been. We were supposed to be trouncing them, but in the fourth quarter, the game was tied at 27. They had the ball with about 2 minuts left. The quarterback dropped back and sailed the ball 40 yards down the sideline. Just as the ball was coming into the hands of a receiver, a gold jersey #27 swooshed in and made an interception. The receiver was immediately blocked out of bounds, and the rest of the secondary formed a wall around #27. The player paused for his blockers and took off down the sideline. The crowd roared. He made it all the way to the 7 yard line before being tackled. The Bull cheer started up: "Whoooo. Whoooo. Whoooo."

#27 sits in the back row of my seventh period. His name is "Xeryon." He gets his work in. So, on second down, a pass is made for a touchdown. And who caught the pass? Another one of my students. "Tyrone" is one of my best students and one of the nicest people I have ever met. A shriek came from behind me, "That's my boy! That's my boy!" Tyrone's mother was down to see him from North Carolina to see him play and I was glad to get the oppourtunity to meet her. We left at that point, but I guess the Bulls got another interception and touchdown in the closing seconds. My school 40, Other school 27.

I found out this morning that a "17 year old male" was shot after the game in the parking lot. I am trying to relate to the community, but I cannot relate to that. I am so upset. All I can seem to think of is a question: Why?

My fourth period was behind my other classes because they missed Tuesday due to an assembly. I made the mistake today of trying to rush through a lecture. They were totally lost, and it was my fault. I moved too fast, and I wasn't organized. I didn't have enough structure. The behavior got worse and worse as the lecture dragged on. My lesson had taken a nose dive.

I called it off. With 15 minutes left, I didn't have anyone paying attention, and they were starting to really hate me. So, we played two truths and a lie. It's a game where you write down two things that are true about yourself and one thing that is a lie. You read it out loud and everyone tries to guess what your lie was. I figured that if my lecture was a bomb, I could at least get to know my students a little better. "Karen" went first, and that's when I got my wakeup call. "I told my daddy to kill my uncle, I've been arrested, and I am the second most sexy girl in the world." The last one is the lie of course because Karen, apparently, is the most sexy girl on earth. She elaborated on the first truth saying, "It's a long story but ask me about some time and I'll tell you. My daddy just got out of prison last year."

Karen gives me a hard time usually in class. She is one of those students that bugs you because you know she is right. She kept telling me my lesson was boring today, and it absolutely was. But sometimes she is flat out disrespectful. She has a lot of anger I think. I'm not going to make excuses for her disrespectful behavior just because she has endured so much more than myself. It is tempting, but I don't believe these kids need anyone else making excuses for them.

When she shared, I struggled to hide the surprise in my facial expression. I was both surprised and startled by the revelation. My students are starting to teach me.

Today was not bad, so therefore, it was good.

First, Third, and Fifth periods were all pretty tame. My students were more responsive to the group work when I explained the purpose of it to them very explicitly. I told them that there were two reasons for doing the group work. One, was that it was a better way to learn. If you have to read about something, then write about it, then teach it, you are much more likely to remember than if you just found the answers in the book. They responded with blank stares to that one. The second reason resonated a bit more. Splitting it up in groups is better than reading the whole chapter independently.

Seventh period, because of their behavior on Friday, was given book work. About 10 of the students were loud, obnoxious, and not doing their work. I didn't pay them too much attention. Most of the students got to work on the mound of textbook work I had assigned for the week. Those playing around will suffer the consequences eventually. Boy, are they going to be pissed when they get their grades back. But they will have nothing to blame but themselves.

And now, for the best news of my entire life: An ROTC seargeant saved my life today. He came in with a list of twenty student names into my eighth period (the one with all the demonic freshmen) and took them away. He took a random sampling of students but I got a real kick out of the frightened looks of students who were being hauled away by a man in uniform. The administration gets a pat on the back for lowering my class size. Now, if they could just get kids out of the halls....

Mr. Moore

There must be something about Fridays. They have brought me to tears two Fridays in a row.

My first, third, and fifth periods were all pretty good. Third period was interrupted by my first fire drill, which was pretty funny because neither the kids nor half the teachers had any idea what to do. I smelled some marijuana smoke in the bathroom on my lunch break. All in all, the day was going pretty well.

Then came my seventh period Seniors. I have had students transferring out of my seventh period because of the students in that class, but I didn't think they were that bad. That is, until, today. I saw them turn against me right before my very eyes. I started out with a pretty fun Do Now activity. They seemed to get into it. Then, we had our first vocab quiz. Almost none of them had studied, so they did very poorly. Probably 5 of them passed in the entire class. I told them the only way they would fail is if they cheated. I caught one cheating so I failed him. They were pissed.

Then, I had them count off in fives because I had planned for them to do group work. They groaned, but the first two rows counted off. Some defiant girls in the middle row refused to count their numbers. I started them over about 5 times, and each time, the girls in the middle row would not say their numbers. So, I counted off for them. They would not move into their groups. That's right. They would not get up out of their seats and move into their groups. Talk about an interesting power dynamic. I was f***ed. My lesson counted on them being in groups. I just gave up, and the last 10 minutes were a total waste.

I can't control my freshmen. Same as Thursday. Kids were roaming the halls and trying to get into my class. My freshmen wouldn't do their workbooks. I was actually hit in the back of my head with a paper wad. It was madness. So, to recap, I had no control over the last two periods of the day for Friday.

Oh yeah, the new principal seems to be ruining the school. The veteran teachers are getting pissed because discipline has never been as bad as it is this year. To make matters worse, the new principal has broughten in a cadre from his old school that excels in nothing but giving lip service. Since my department chair is perhaps the most vocal representative of the faculty, the social studies department has been receiving an extra helping of lip service. Apparently, we are a rebellious department that needs to be quelled. Another teacher made some interesting points which I will reproduce here:

My school is a community school. Most of the parents of our students also graduated from it. Because it is a community school, the teachers and community take a special pride in it. They are not going to let things continue like this. Teachers are scared. Students are scared. There are multiple incidents with the police everyday. Two weeks in, and there is almost no meaningful learning taking place. I think the principal will be out before I am.

Today was a bad day. I'm just going to use this post to vent. My seniors were bored. They honestly don't seem to care about what is going on in the world in terms of current events. They tell me my lessons are boring, but at least I'm not just having them use the textbook. They are constantly giving me reasons why I should let them out of class: counselor appointments, trips to the clinic, they need to get their folder for another class, and they need to call their family. My best students are getting transferred to honors or to another teacher. Period 5 was my favorite, but during a conversation about the NCAA's decision not to let FSU use the Seminole as its mascot, they were making racist comments about the native americans. All of my Seniors are incredibly lazy when it comes down to it.

My freshmen class was good for about 10 minutes today, then they went back to being themselves. They yell. They fight. They swear. And there were 43 of them today. The halls are totally unpoliced. Students are constantly moving around the halls unchecked in herds. How am I supposed to teach when there are kids not even in my class banging on the door, or worse, opening the door and yelling obscene things into the classroom? I am really frustrated right now, and I have no idea what I am going to teach tomorrow.

Mr. Moore

I did not mess around today. I did not smile, or laugh, or expect anything but the absolute best behavior from my students. Periods 2 & 4 were okay. There are 17 young women and one guy in my fourth period. The girls don't really like me. They don't want to do any of the work I ask them to do. They would rather do worksheets. They expect school to be easy, and they are frustrated that I ask more of them than other teachers. When I ask them to do something, it never fails that I get one of the following responses:

• "Why can't we just do it our own way?"
  
• "Mrs. So-and-so didn't ever make us do it that way?"
  
• "This isn't fun."
  
• "Man, this is stupid."
  

When I thought about teaching, I never thought I would be the teacher kids hate. But, I must admit, I'm sort of getting used to the idea. As long as they are learning, I don't really care if they like me or want to kill me.

I kicked two students out of my freshmen class today. One was "Teisha." I had a home visit with her and her mom this weekend. We agreed that Teisha would have one warning and then I would kick her out. I gave her two. When she said "F*** this," I told her to go to my department chair's room. She did, then she bolted from him, and got security. Her and a security officer came to my door and I just about shut the door in their face. I told them there was no way she was getting back into my class. Two minutes later she came back with the vice principal. The vice principal's jaw dropped when I told her I had made a home visit, and I think she genuinely took my side.

I talked with Teisha's Mom again tonight. She was pissed. I stood firm, and told her Teisha would not be allowed in my class until we had another conference, this time at school. "How is she going to learn then?" she asked. A good question. Then she explained the job interviews she was going to tomorrow, and that she could not meet until later. I genuinely feel for Teisha's mother. She is a kind woman and she wants to do the best for her child. She is in a difficult position. Anyways, we will be meeting tomorrow at school when she is back from her interviews.

It wears on you when all of your students do not like you, but my armour is getting thicker every day.

Mr. Moore

My seniors are wonderful. Their desire to learn, and their willingness to work hard inspires me. It is amazing how little they know about American government and current events. It is most certainly not their fault. They simply haven't been given the same opportunities as the rest of society's children. I had great one-on-one time with "El" after my other 5'th period Seniors had gone to a special event for Seniors who had passed the FCAT. He is not reading at a high school level. He can say the words, but has little comprehension. You can see it in his eyes though. He wants to learn.

My freshmen made me cry today. I stayed up late preparing a lesson plan, seating chart, and agenda. With the positive phone calls made last night, I have about 25 of them completely on my side, but the rest of the 37 constantly test me. There are about 4 who hate me. It is their mission to disrupt my class. They are not there to learn. I knew that 14 year olds could be this cruel, but I didn't know their cruelty could still bother me.

Let me explain what I'm dealing with. All I want to do is learn their names. On Tuesday, I had a seating chart prepared randomly. Some of the students did not sit in their assigned sits and I didn't pick up on it. They have no IDs, so there is no way I can for sure know who is who. I could not learn names, because their behavior was so disrespectful. Wednesday, I had a break. Yesterday, I had a chart at the front of the room that they read their names off of. My troublemakers did not sit in their seats. I called them by their wrong names as they went up the consequence ladder. When I told them I was calling their parents, they told me that "that's not my name." Some refused to give me their real names. Since there is always so much noise in the room, it's hard to handle specific situations. There is always another fire to put out. Today, I put their names on notecards and placed them on desks. Hahah, I thought. Nope. They switched the cards around.

One student came in late without a schedule. I told him to go to the media center to pick up a schedule. He came back with 15 minutes left and said "They're not giving them out anymore." "What is your name?" I asked. "John Smith," he said. "Okay, Mr. Smith have a seat." I went to the wall to push the emergency button. I knew this kid was full of it. Well, my emergency button does not work. Luckily, my department chair checked in with me, and grabbed the kid by the backpack to kick him out. The place is like a prison. This John Smith's only purpose was to come in and make my class hell for me. School isn't about learning for some of these students. It makes my heart ache for the students (and there are A LOT of them) who really do want to learn.

After a good cry, I got back on my feet. These kids want me gone. They want me to quit. Speaking of, another corps member in my high school quit tonight. Well, I'm not going to quit. Although this might sound egoistic, it's not about reaching these kids anymore. This is war. This is a game. I am going to win. I will never quit.

Mr. Moore

I went to war with my freshmen today. I had a new seating chart arranged. They were copying down rules for the first 10 minutes and things were okay. I gave out warnings right away. Next, I had "Shawna" speak to them about behavior and what's expected in high school. "Shawna" is one of my awesome seniors who has turned herself around and is going to be very successful. They listened pretty well, but I still gave out more warnings. Some of them got write-ups, the second stage of my consequence ladder.

Then, things quickly fell apart as we went over the rules as a class. They do not know how to behave, and they hate being reminded of what the rules are. "Teisha" was so good at the beginning of the period, but she started to get very angry towards the end. She talked back to me twice, and moved her self up to the third stage of the consequence ladder: A Call Home. "Why don't you give me your number, so I can call you!" she said. "Excuse me?" I responded. "You heard me." Teisha walked over to the door and yelled out down the hall "Security!" I looked at her dumbfounded. "I'm calling security on you," she said.

"Teisha, step outside with me right now." My plan was to send her to my department chair's room. He had volunteered to take students who needed to calm down. Here comes the funny/not funny part. Teisha ran down the hall yelling "Security! Security!" I suppose I was shocked, but I had a class to teach. I shut the door and continued. "Teisha made a decision. She will have to deal with the consequences. Okay, let's look at rule number 4..."

So, what are the consequences for Teisha. She gets a referral, which is a huge deal. I am legally responsible for Teisha even if she is out of my class. My department chair didn't blink when he heard what happened. He immediately insisted that I do a referral. That is the only sure way for me to cover my ass. I didn't want to ever resort to referrals, but I think it was the right decision. I have talked with Teisha's mom twice tonight (I also called half of the freshmen class with positive comments for their parents) and she seems to be on my side.

Tomorrow, I am teaching them content, and the rules will be enforced instead of explicitly taught. Sorry this entry is messy. It's late, and I am very tired.

Mr. Moore

This is going to be harder than anything I have ever done.

My schedule got extremely messed up in the intricacies and intrigues of the Miami-Dade Public School system. On Friday, I had to give up my keys to another teacher and was told I "didn't show up" on the master schedule. I took it pretty well. Things had been going too perfect for me. It was about time the other shoe dropped.

On Monday, I had to "hold" a reading class. Basically, I was a substitute for a day. It was pretty easy. The students were just checking me out and they didn't really test me. The day was still completely chaotic. Students were not registered. Parents were running about. The schedule changed period by period. The only goal of the first day, as my principle said, was to "Count them, feed them, and send them home." I taught a mini-lesson on intonation, and the students had some fun with it. I read to my homeroom class and we had pretty good discussions.

I got my permanent classroom and schedule on Monday afternoon. My room is pretty good for my school. I have windows whose hurricane shutters actually work. I have a computer, overhead, and a lockable chest. The previous teacher left me plenty of posters to cover up the walls that badly need to be painted. My schedule is pretty good as well. I teach six periods of American government to Seniors. I teach one period of Freshmen Orientation.

My Seniors were pretty manageable today. They definitely viewed me as an outsider. I don't fit in because I am white and I wear a tie. They made some very intelligent comments and they were well behaved for the most part. In fourth period, "Shary" gave me a very hard time. Shary has bleached yellow hair with pink bangs and huge earings. She is medium height and stout. She is incredibly smart. She tested me the whole time. She didn't like the raising hand rule. She thought the rules and procedures lesson was extraneous. "Just give me the work and I'll do it," she said. "You don't need to treat me like a kid." I had finished explaining that there was no profanity or putdowns in my class. I said that racial slurs, homophobic and sexist comments were included in this category. About a minute later, Shary said "nigga" about something. I jumped on it immediately, giving her a warning. She raised her hand, so I called on her. She proceded to lecture me, and the entire class, on the origins of the word nigga and the differences between nigga and nigger. She made some good points. I stressed that whatever the case, that word would not be used in my class. Shary shut down until a class discussion on the state of nature at the end. Fun stuff.

The most amazing thing happened in my eighth period class. Satan's children, disguised as freshmen, walked into my class and started pushing me towards suicide. Then, more of these demons came in. Then, some more. Five minutes into class, I had 37 terror children making a mockery of my training and my lesson. I didn't get through my rules and procedures, and I didn't get through the name activity. For about 15 minutes, I had NO control of my class. They would not keep quiet. I couldn't give them any information because they weren't listening. I tried the TFA tricks. They didn't work. Some of them (like the call and response to settle the buzz) made the situation worse. I was so frustrated and helpless. Finally, I tried the last thing I could think of. A veteran teacher had told me that he always throws a desk on the first day of school. I grabbed a desk from the front of the room and threw it towards the chalk board. I sent fear into the spines of about 70% of the class. The other 30% thought it was funny, and continued to terrorize me. I kept two students after class. I'm calling a combination of students and parents tonight. A new seating chart will be ready for Thursday when I see them next. Tonight I'm going to nail down my lessons for tomorrow and get some much needed sleep. I can't wait for the weekend when I'll have two full days to get more prepared.

Mr. Moore